Civic Engagement

I am 100% in favor of shared parenting!

I am currently in court with the mother of my child over additional time with our 3 year old daughter. My ex and I split when our daughter was very young due to infidelity on her part, however since that time I have been court ordered to only see my daughter every other weekend. Due to mom's "party" ways however, I was spending half if not more days a month with my daughter, while my ex out living it up and still receiving child support based off the intital agreement.

Ten short months ago, my ex finally decided to buckle down and get serious, not only with her life, but with another man. This is when my daughter was virtually pulled from my life. I went from seeing her all the time, now ONLY seeing her the court appointed every other weekend (which has NEVER happened in my daughters three short years on this planet). Everytime I have requested more time, there is always some excuse as to why it cannot be accomodated, (ie. it ...

As a father, youth group leader and youth sports coach/director, I've witnessed first hand the problems that children develop when their contact with their father is not encouraged. Currently in our society, children are given the message that fathers are of little importance. Research indicates to the contrary. Shared parenting that results in MORE involvement in the lives of their children will benefit the unfortunate children of divorce, their fathers, AND society as a whole.

My name is Thomas Viner, and I have a few words to say about this bill...

The representative who PROPOSED this to the House (Colleen Garry - D - Dracut).....yeah, funny story about her.

She's my daughters mother's attorney in our custody case that's been going on for the past year (oh, and also represents my daughter's mother on her felony Grand Larceny charges she picked up this past fall, but I digress). She has a Law practice out of Lowell.

You know how she handles custody battles? By using her knowledge of the system and it's flaws AGAINST father's when that's where the profit is for her. To kick off my custody battle, she immediately advised her client to take out a restraining order against me. This was later in the SAME day I filed for joint custody, and she then had a domestic violence advocate write her affidavit for her claiming I was a batterer. 6 year relationship- never a bruise, photograph or police report...but suddenly the day I file for custody Colleen Garry ...

I cannot believe that people in 2009 are still not being treated as equals in our courts. I cannot believe that anyone stands for this. If the courts require us to consider someone convicted of a crime as innocent until proven guilty than it is a "no-brainer" that 2 parents should be considered good and capable until proven otherwise.

This is a critical issue to the well being of our children. Children want and deserve both parents. Fathers should not have to fight so hard to be in integral part of there children's lives. Shared parenting is in the best interest of everyone.

Click on this Link:

http://www.salemnews.com/puopinion/local_story_079004158.html

Last night Joe Rizoli of www.ccfiile.org and I, attended a Conference held at the Hilton Hotel in Waltham, Mass., hosted by Glenn Sacks of Father’s and Families (www.fathersandfamilies.org). The topic revolved around the sadden facts that in Massachusetts and most states today, that, most Fathers are “denied” their “equal right” to be actively involved in their children(s) lives. Not to mention the abuse of the Courts and false accusations of the other parent in restraining or not willing to “foster” a good and health relationship with Father and child. The Conference also focused on “New Child Support Guidelines” that a Trial Judge, Chief Justice Robert A. Mulligan, issued on his own authority “without” the Legislative Branch implementing it—which is a violation of the Massachusetts Constitution (Art. 30). In opposition, to this “so-called” New Guideline, that ...

Putting Divorce into the hands of the courts and judicial system only creates a "winner/loser" scenario and the financial incentives in family law only perpetuate this unhealthy dynamic. While we have yet to intelligently address the problems inherent in the relationships that end in divorce, we cannot continue to justify the exclusion of one parent from their child's lives. When one parent is taken out of the equation - every one loses. The judicial system CAN NOT continue UNCHECKED. It is time for our leaders to step up and demand reform in family law and practice. Too many lives are destroyed. Fathers and 2nd families MUST be protected.

I have been there,it's not fair. The bad guys are ruining it for the good Fathers. Let's help make the good Fathers continue to be good Fathers and allow them to b part of their kids life.

I shouldn't have to go to all of this trouble to be a good Father as I have been since my son was born. I shouldn't have to prove myself worthy of being a Father since a Mother is not asked to prove herself either. We are equals and we both add something to a childs life. A mother is not more important than a Father and vice versa. Good parents deserve equality.

A Father and Mother ar equally important to a child having a healthy and happy life as long as there is no proven issue of neglect or abuse involved.

Equal opportunity for all...certainly applies to parents & children.

Kids shouldn't be "owned" by one parent - they need access to both caring parents.

During a separation and/or a divorce, there are a number of factors that can put children at risk. The number one being lack of involvement with both parents. A child always find ways to blame themselves for everything and when there is a decrease in the amount of time spent with either parent this false idea is further engrained, in their minds and hearts and it impacts their self esteem. Children need both parents as a source of love and structure as well as support one parents influence is no more important then another, unless there is SUBSTANTIATED abuse. As divorce and separation rates increase so do the chances for a blended family, a child may see a lack of involvement, visitation as a sign that the new family structure does not want to include them. Early recognition of these factors is important so that we can protect our relationships with our children by honoring the presence of both parents and reduce the chances of perceived abandonment and the devastating effects it ...

Shared parenting enables the child(ren) to benefit from both parents after a divorce.

I feel very strongly that it is in the best interest of children to allow parents shared custody in the event that both parents are fit parents. Please seriously consider this issue.

Thank you. Melisa Shen

The issue is very important for children of the Commonwealth as well as children everywhere. Any parent that is willing and able to contribute to the well being of their children deserve that chance.

There is great injustice in our courts. If you have 2 law abiding parents, no issues of neglect or abuse then they should be treated as equals. Anything less than having 2 parents as equals is unacceptable. My husband is experiencing this literally right now in the courts. He has joint legal and joint physical custody of his son, whom he had with an ex-girlfriend, he has had joint legal and joint physical custody since his son was 26 days old and he is in court asking for a set routine and now finds out he could lose the custody he does already legally has because a GAL decided that because he and his ex-girlfriend can no longer communicate since they disagree on the change she made without his consent in September 2008, they are labeled unable to communicate so therefore my husbands son should spend more time with his Mother when they live 5 miles part as well as because his son started school- again the school is 7 miles away. I wish there was more to the story, but these are facts. ...

Children need both parents. Massachusetts needs to adopt a modern shared parenting law. Research shows that children who don't have regular access to their fathers are more likely to drop out of school, and have higher rates of drug abuse and teen pregnancy. States like Iowa and Indiana which have adopted shared parenting laws have seen an overall improvement in these issues and have also seen a significant drop in the divorce rate.

I 100% support this issue.

I am in favor of shared parenting. Please support this issue which is vital to the lives of our commonwealth's children.

Massachusetts is a joke through and through, just like the rest of the country when it comes to child custody and child support. My family and I have my son for 14.5-15.5 hours/day. My son's mother has him while he sleeps., yet I'm the non-custodian parent? Oh really? Mathematically, how does that make sense? On top of that, I'm paying over $200/week to my ex. For what? It's funny how America is such a sexist country yet when it comes to child support/custody the courts bend over backwards for women and screw fathers royally. I also love how women are all about equality and independence until you break up with them and then they want you to take care of them for the rest of their lives.

The courts didn't verify one thing of my ex's during our hearing. She lied about where she stayed. Lied about her rent. Lied about her job hours. Lied about everything, but the court didn't give a damn. I thought the law was about facts, proof, evidence and logic, not disney world and goofball ...

There is a MA Probate Court Publication, where the judges and the courts are supposed to SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE Shared Parenting, 50/50 custody. My son has just filed this document with the court on behalf of his son. How has this gone in the HAMPDEN COUNTY courts? Where is the legislation?

Shared parenting concept does not exist in MA Family and Probate system. In the absence of abuse or other special situations, shared parenting/joint physical custody should presumed for all divorce cases. New MA Child Support Guidelines are a joke and only designed to fuel custody and child support order modification battles.

In Massachusetts gays can get married, illegals can get state aid, but fathers can't get shared custody? I've supported the first two mentioned issues and its about time I've received some support on my issue. Divorced father (since 2004), of two 9, and 7 I bring them to school Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri, and Wednesdays is my visitation day so I get them from school and they stay overnight. I have them every other weekend. I have to fight with her to get extra days like holidays that she has to work and I'm off. She purchased a three bed townhouse with her new boyfriend who she's pregnant by. Until recently I also provided extra money for school clothes, sneakers, day care, and sports. I stopped giving extra money so she has said she will take me back to court for more money. After everything mentioned above you think I have a case for shared custody? My lawyer seems to think I might but odds are I'll lose and spend a lot of money doing so. Hey I know its for my kids, but what's the ...

I cannot believe that Massachusetts would increase child support that was already the highest in the nation. It's no wonder my wife wants a divorce. These new guidelines only encourage people to get divorced!

*I AM A MOTHER WHO HAS LOST HER DAUGHTER IN SALEM PROBATE COURT ON NOVEMEBR 7, 2008. HER FATHER ASKED IF HE COULD PICK HER UP AT SCHOOL ON FRIDAY NOVEMBER 7, 2008 FOR THE WEEKEND ( USUALLY I DROP HER OFF TO HIM ). ON SATURDAY MORNING I WAS SERVED A COURT ORDER STATING THAT HE HAS CUSTODY AND THAT I CANNOT SEE HER.

WE HAD A REVIEW HEARING ON DECMBER 10, 2008. THE PROBATION DEPARTMENT RECOMMEDED THAT MY DAUGHTER BE RETURNED TO ME AND THERE WAS NO EMERGENCY. THE JUDGE GRANTED HIM CUSTODY AND GAVE ME LIMITED VISITS SUPERVISED BY A PARENT COORDINATOR THAT WE HAVE TO SHARE THE COST OF AND I HAVE TO PAY 150.00 PER WEEK IN CHILD SUPPORT AND I AM ON SSI.THE COST OF THE PARENT COORDINATOR AND THE AMOUNT OF THE CHILD SUPPORT EXCEED MY INCOME.

I HAVE A GUARDIANSHIP OF SOMEONE EALS'ES CHILD THROUGH THIS COURT. I HAVE HAD IT FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS NOW.

THIS JUST DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN TO MEN IT HAPPENS TO WOMAN TO.I HAVE NO MONEY AND KNOW ONE WILL HELP ME CAUSE IT IS NOT HAPPENING TO THEM. ...

This is the most important civil rights issue facing Massachusetts. There are so many horror stories of courts simply supporting mothers completely and ignoring great dads who sacrifice and work hard to have a positive impact on their children's lives. The baseline must be a 50/50 shared parenting split, including schooltime and weekends (unless there is evidence of incapacity or abuse). When courts say that a woman has more right than a man to parenting because of their gender, that is as prejudiced as Jim Crow laws in the South that didn't allow African-Americans to vote during the 60s. I am a divorced dad who has happily remarried, while my ex wife lives with her parents. I have sacrificed my career, my financial wealth, and my health to spend time with my sons (currenly only at 30% of the year), and there is no recognition of that effort on the part of the courts and no willingness to allow a fair split. Why has justice been kidnapped?

I agree 100%. I am the partner of a non-custodial parent and he has completed everything the courts have asked him to do: parenting classes, drug testing (negative for ANY substances, paying HER court fees, etc.). He is still fighting for shared custody, pays his child support and has been working consistently to be able to provide for his child when she comes over every other weekend. The child's mother lies to the court stating he's incapable of parenting, and uses my boyfriends child support towards partying every weekend (evidence on her MySpace), leaving the child with her parents and returning home to care for her child drunk and incoherent. This child obviously needs both parents! But mother refuses to give him the child on the weekend, refusing to admit she has a problem.

Please take the situation of second families into consideration. As a responsible divorced parent, my husband is devoted to the well being of his daughter from his first marriage. She is an equal part of our "new" family, as she lives with us and her new brother on weekends. We are deeply in debt and struggle to keep our home for our family, as so much of our income goes to support her for the four days she lives with her mom. None of the expenses we incur are considered, despite the fact that we have her living with us for about half of the week. I fail to see the logic in this system.

I support this issue. This country has an equal rights amendment. Why aren't we all created equal? Isn't justice suppose to be blind.

The sad truth is many people are using the court system and their children as weapons against their ex to get even. Shared parenting, co-parenting is your obligation as a parent when choosing to have a child. Whenever possible children need both parents. They need their parents to be a positive role- model, not verbal abusers smashing each other down with hateful words and acts. Be responsible, make that commitment to let the anger go and move forward.

I am a father of two wonderful children and I have not seen them in over a month. I missed Thanksgiving with them and I will more than likely miss Christmas with them. My heart is broken; there is nothing I can legally do. Except wait for the probate court date and pray that the Judge is fair. I have heard horror stories about how UNFAIR the probate courts are towards fathers and that there is actually a financial incentive for doing just that. I am locked in a high conflict divorce with an ex-domestic violence prosecutor and her well connected family. I cannot reason with the mother of my children and it is the children that will suffer because of that. I beg you to pass this bill. There also needs to be a punishment for filing false domestic violence charges. Women manipulate a law that was put in place to protect them. This is a gross injustice and must be corrected immediately.